Rose Garden

Body Image

2011-11-03T07:19:00.000+02:00

In July I joined a gym, and ever since I have been thinking of writing this post. The only problem is, I usually thought about it as I was training, and it is pretty hard to write a post while you are swimming, or cycling, or doing weights.
The first thing I learned when I joined the gym, was to be comfortable with my body, imperfections and all. I was confronted with this when I walked into the locker room and there are a handful of very naked very imperfect bodies, and they don’t seem to have a care in the world. Now I’m not the kind of person who will start running around naked myself, or ever feel really comfortable in the company of so many naked women, but the one truth I learned is, very few people actually care what you look like, as long as you are decent.
Sure, I would like to meet a wonderful handsome man who happens to be my soul mate, but if he doesn’t like the way I look, then frankly, he is not as perfect as he seems. And while I am in the gym to improve my physique, I have to be happy with the fact that for now it is a work in progress and if someone wants to be impressed, they should be impressed that I am making an effort to look after myself.
This brings me to the next important thought I had about gym and exercise in general. If you are doing it in order to impress someone, with either your effort or the results, then you are probably going to fail. If that is your only motivation, you are going to run out of steam and give up. So what is my motivation, you ask?
We make the full circle back to body image. I have learned to love the body I am in. It is the one that God made especially for me, and it is due to my own neglect that I have accumulated the imperfections that could cause unhappiness. So now my goal is to try and undo the neglect, or at least start giving myself the attention I deserve.
I have been unfit for a very long time, and my biggest problem with it is not the “I feel so tired” or “I want more energy” complaints you hear on weight loss advertisements. I went rowing with a friend the other day, and I had to ask him to stop after a while because I just couldn’t go anymore. That is when I realised I never want to miss out on fun because I am unfit. So now the goal is to do whatever it takes to get fit enough to have fun.
Getting fit to me means getting my body to do what it was made to do, like move, as well as putting in the right stuff to keep it functioning optimally, and refraining from putting in the junk. It’s a work in progress, and it involves a lot of habit changing, but so far so good. I’ll keep you posted on the progress!

Creativity Vs Science

2011-05-15T08:49:00.002+02:00

I was thinking the other day about creativity vs science. The world we live in is balanced between the two.

My training has been in a rather scientific field but yet, it is all about finding a new solution to a problem - so it takes creativity. The question is really the extent to where you take the creativity. A civil engineer can be creative in the solution he finds to build a bridge, but we want him to be rather scientific when he does the simulations and calculations as to whether it will work. In my work I should be very scientific in the data I collect and the simulations I do, because a 5% difference in answer can mean a big amount of money...

Some professions have different requirements though, I have heard some people was imprisoned for creative accounting. And if I ever require surgery,I want the surgeon that operates on me to be very scientific thank you very much. If you are a graphic designer though, your success depends on finding a creatively new way to present information.

One of my hobbies is sewing, and I was taking this thought a bit further. Is making a dress for instance a scientific or creative process? I always considered it very creative, but then I did a course in pattern making, and that is truly a combination of scientific approach to get the fit just right, and then the creative part, of making it look rather pretty!

Same goes for cooking and baking - science is required to get the right ingredients to make the cake come out successful. Creativity is what makes it exceptional.

It looks like the trick is finding the balance...

yes...

2009-03-06T06:32:00.001+02:00

Funnily enough, I updated my other blog yesterday (http://womenblogs.24.com/journeytotheinside) for the first time in months, so I will blog here again for bits and pieces of the day.

Whats news?

I have started writing my novel - well, more like planning, but I already have a plot with no holes that I cant cover up at the moment.

I had a dream come true over December - take a month long holiday to Europe. It was really fantastic and I am planning the next one already. Will do some things differently (less luggage, go in another season, take my loved ones with) but will definately do it again.

I have realised that this industry is not for me, I can cope, but I don't think I will like it, ever.

I have started on my next life dream i.e getting the body I deserve. Have been going to the gym more or less constantly for more than a year and have lost at least 13 kg's in the same time.

So this is my dream job/life: I want to be a lifestyle ambassador working for a big company, preferably a motorcar company. I get to engineer part time, to show that I am not a bimbo, I get to write my bestsellers, to keep me popular and my life desirable, and I get to drive a fantastic sportscar and wear designer labels in natural fibers. I get to travel all over the world, and everybody wants to be me, therefore they spend money on the things I have, like the car and the clothes, handbags, jewelry, and that kind of thing. If you know of a job like this, please let me know, I have a CV ready..:)

'Later!

Exams again

2008-10-07T06:40:00.004+02:00

You would think that after graduation there is no more such thing as exams. In which case you would have thought wrong.

My first exam is tomorrow, about the world, mythology and literature of ancient Rome. Who would have thought?

It turns out that it is in fact much different from Engineering. So much in fact that it doesn't feel the same at all. Besides, studying about those Romans creates a good break from the everyday humdrum of contractors and projects...

So, off I go to another day of being me!

Comeback Time!

2008-09-30T07:22:00.002+02:00

Jys reg Queery - laat ek maar weer begin blog. Tot my verdediging, ek het vir 'n ruk lank by 24.com beblog, oulike community daar, maar dit is stopgesit deur die firewall by die werk en die feit dat daar te veel politiek geraak het. Dalk, net dalk, sal ek 'n link na daai blog hier opsit. Dalk nie.

So, here is a short update of my life at the moment:

I live and work in the town I mostly grew up in. I returned from a few years of blissful student being and soulselling studies to take up a position in the firm of a local consulting engineer. The work is OK, but I do not think it will ever be my first love.

Speaking of love - My beloved moved here in September ( a month ago, today, actually) and started to work at a company here while he continues his studies through distance learning. He seems happy, and that makes me happy.

Studies, well yes. After graduating in Engineering, I thought I had done with this exam thingy, but it seems I was mistaken...

Somewhere in February I realised that I always had this notion of doing a BA once I am through with the soul-crushing reality of studying B.Eng. So I enrolled myself for a BA at Unisa, majoring in Classical Cultures and Theory of Literature.

So far so good, the assignments went well, but once again, I am plunged into that black hole called exams, this time with the added pressure of work, deadlines and all that.

Another thing I always wanted to do, was travel overseas, to Europe in particular. So I did some math and thought I could conveniently go on a Eurotrip in December, when our firm close for the "builders' holiday" and pay of my student loan at the same time. ( It was a small loan, lucky for me).

It turned out that I had the prices a little bit wrong, and at the moment my estimate is double the amount that I originally thought, and then I forgot to count in my airplane tickets (it was included in the original estimate). But, it is still worth it, and I am sure I will be blogging some more about that tour in the future.

Right, that is all for now,

I have to get to work ... Grr, and still some warpaint to apply before I go.

Exams - and all that jazz

2007-05-17T16:22:00.000+02:00

And with this, the exams are upon us.

I admit I am slightly in denial about that ( I can see the pyramids, you know) but I find it the only way to cope without actually freaking out. People close to me can see me having more bad hair days than usual, combined with a general jittery-ness that could or could not be the effect of drinking to much coffee.
I think I should switch to hot chocolate....

As precautionary measure, I shall be leaving the beautiful town of Stellenbosch for the coast, i.e home, "where my music's playin' , home..." (sorry, got distracted for a moment) Where my mom can do the cooking and my room stays clean so I have no excuses not to study. As for blogging... I have been quiet enough lately to expect you to not miss me THAT much.

To those that is entering the tunnel with me, good luck. To the rest.. Darn, you're lucky

Rainy weather and napping

2007-05-14T14:44:00.000+02:00

So.. It has been a busy term, with a lot of work crammed into a short time. Then comes deadlines, and they all happen to be in the same space of time...

Lucky for me, I handed in two projects today, and now I have an afternoon that can, and will be spent napping. Also lucky for me, it is a wet, rainy afternoon, so I do not have to feel guilty for not enjoying the last of the beautiful weather and sleeping the afternoon away!

That said, I think I am going to go not, and sleep.....

A silly joke, but funny

2007-04-03T22:57:00.001+02:00

Have you heard about the guy that drowned in a bowl of muesly? A strong "currant" pulled him in.

Silence - Explained

2007-04-03T22:57:00.000+02:00

So I have to admit, I have been quiet. To my defence, I did write a test series last week, and I am currently on holiday, and really lazy, so do you blame me for my silence?

I am currently discovering facebook, of have been discovering. Now I encourage all my friends to join, to make it easier to know what you are doing without having to go to 10 million blogs or read those newsletter emails. Dont get me wrong, I love both of the above and usually go visit the blogs and read the mails. It is more a question of getting all the news at once, specially when Time is short.

Like now for instance.. Have to go
Ciao!

Soul Searching - Meaning

2007-03-26T10:33:00.000+02:00

I heard of someone that left her job at a restaurant after 20 years, and after she left, nobody even noticed she was gone...

I gues to have meaning in our life has 2 components:

Having a meaning in what you do. In other words, do something for a reason, not just because. Why do you do what you do?
Meaning something to others. Who will miss you when you are gone. What value do you add to the life of others?

I think meaning is what distinguishes wether our life turns out to be and aimless wondering to never strive for anything and not touching the lives of others, or not.

Soul Searching - Challenge

2007-03-13T09:34:00.000+02:00

I guess if we do not have something to strive for, we seldom have something to live for. If we are content in what we have, and who we are, then it will not be long before we are less and have less than we bargained for.

So far in life I was a dreamer, and a believer in ambition. Not neccesarily the kind of ambition that makes a person discard all thought for other people and be a general bad ass. But the kind of ambition that makes a 10 year old think: " I want to drive a Ferrari one day and I will do what I can to realise that goal."

The clever people claim that we need a challenge in life in order to be happy. What kind?

My challenge for the rest of this year is to complete my degree. It is not much, but it is something, and it is something significant. After that, I still need to think it over. Maybe it would be realising my dream of traveling all over (the challenge, I guess, would be affording it.)

Next year will definately have challenges of its own, getting and holding a job for one. Being in a new town, another. But I will worry about next year when I get there.

Soul Searching - Pleasure

2007-03-13T09:03:00.000+02:00

Doesn't it seem selfish to think of pleasure when we should be wishing for world peace?
I do not think pleasure, and happiness is a luxury, I think of it as a neccesity. And I feel truly sorry for those that do not have any pleasure in their life.

At the moment my freshest source of pleasure comes from my newly aquired bycicle.
It is not a racing bike. Not a mountain bike either. It is not worth thousands, or many hundreds. I do not even think it can be classified as a campus bike.

It is a Strawberry. It is pink with a strawberry on the frame and little flowers on the seat. It has mudguards, a carrier, a basket in front, a stand and a bell. And only one gear. It reminds me of like Saartjie, the main character in a tv show I knew growing up.

I love it because the smile per mile factor is very high. To ride that thing over campus, ( I live on the other side of where I study) is my little piece of pleasure every day. It is more than a form of transportation, a way to save petrol, or a way to get somewhere faster than walk. The magic of the bike lies in the simplicity it signifies. It lies in fond memories of childhood and an attitude of not letting the haste and drive for money get to you.

It is of course not my only source of pleasure. I love to smile at random people and see their reaction. I love to chit-chat with the cleaners at my faculty and always hearing their friendly greeting. I get pleasure from tickling a friend to see how he/she reacts. I love unusual lunch dates with my boyfriend.

So what do you do for pleasure? How many times a day do you laugh? How would you react if the "wonderful wacky walrus" just walked into your office/knocked on your front door/commented on your blog? (I know the last comment is kind of silly and a little out of context, but really, how would you react?)

Soul Searching - Happiness

2007-03-12T09:30:00.000+02:00

Somebody once told me that happiness consists of 3 components:

Pleasure
Challenge
Meaning

In order to be happy, you need to have at least two of the above in your life. But all 3 are obviously desireble.

So what gives us pleasure?
What is the challenge in your life?
If you leave today, who will remember you?

Does Poor People get Cancer

2007-01-26T12:56:00.000+02:00

Have you ever heard of poor people getting cancer? The really poor ones, that has to wear old clothes and live in a crowded little houses and eat only pap and bread.
I was wondering about that.
Maybe they do get it, but never get diagnosed? Or maybe if they get diagnosed they do not get treatment because they cannot afford it, or maybe you just don't hear about it, because the press only report on human interest stories concering rich people, famous people and criminals - and any combination of the above...

Just a thought...

2006-12-05T09:24:00.000+02:00

So it is that time of the year.. Sunshine, beaches, and christmas.

I just recieved the nicest little prezzie as an early Krismis! It is a hook that you hang in your closet with a wooden thingummy, and this wooden thingummy has 4 hooks on it that you can use for belts, necklaces, or in my case, scarves!

Another great gift idea that I caught wind of is a little tool thingy that can easily fit into a wallet or pocket. And there was the money clip. Brilliant idea.

But join me in the search for innovative gifts, and tell me if you have an interesting idea. Then we can make Christmas shopping easy for everyone!

Cheers vir eers!

Under cover and out

2006-11-24T13:51:00.000+02:00

Wow, it has been a while...

I will blame it on exams, and my life getting very hectic for a while. Wait a minute, my life is always hectic, but for a while it was hectic far from a computer...

Now that exams are over: I am busy with the second round of exams, also known as re-examinations. I would feel bad about it, but that is not going to help me pass. I prefer to think of it as a second chance at passing.

In other news:
Today was a day for me to realise that I miss my old friends. You know, the ones that I haven't seen in a few months and I know from school days.

Sometimes we do not realised that these friends helped shape us to be the person we are today, and through their love and help and mistakes we learned what to do and what not to.

I have realised that in my old friends I have a diverse database for all sorts of knowledge. From teachers to chopper pilots and single mothers and everything in between.

And it is with the experience of these friends that I am able to make new friends. Know what is important to me in a friend and in what way I can be a good friend.

So lets all hug a teddybear and smile... Or not. I do not want to be soppy, or post little angels and goodluck roses, I just want to share my appreciation for the friends that stood by me in that terrible phase called teenage...

Sleeping photos and chain emails

2006-10-12T13:19:00.000+02:00

This is a little bit of a rant. See more at http://www.therant.co.za.

I was just wondering why exactly people think it is funny to take pictures of sleeping people? I mean, they do not look great, and they do not look different from any other person when they are asleep. Granted, they may snore in a funny way or something, but as far as I am concerned, the picture is not going to capture that. The picture is only funny to the people who have been there, and the source of funnyness lies in the situation,i.e. the people who was there will remember it, regardless of the picture!

The other thing that bugs me is these chain emails that tell you to "send this to eleven people in the next 10 seconds and your wish will come true by 16.23 today." This is usually accomponied by some form of angel, with a little message to tell me that if I do not send it on, I cannot call myself a Christian, and before I do, I need to say a little prayer for the salvation of myself/ the dodo, or some little girl with some disease that will recieve 4 cents for every time I send on the email, regardless of the fact that when I recieved the same email 5 years ago, she already had only two months to live.

Then there is always the "If you send this to so many people, Bill Gates will pay you" variety. But my ultimate favourite flavour of chain emails is the kind that has a little testimony: " I did this, and two weeks later, I recieved a cheque for $10 000" or whatever. 2 things:
- I always wonder where they get my mail adress from, if they were tracking my emails.
- If they are able to track all my emails, I will have to get rid of all my software, because that seems very insecure to me.
- How can you tell us about your success in the letter you are sending? I did not know time travel existed. And if it does, I do not want to know about it, because maybe I will kill my own granny, or worse, BE HER!!

Ok, so that was 3 things, but I promise you I can find a 1000000000000 ^10000000 other things to add to that, but I will write them in an email, and then add a little line that if you do not forward it to -7 people in 12 seconds, your armpits will be infested by the flease of 78000 Afganistan camels and your arms will miraculously become to short to scratch. (well, maybe your arse will work better than your armpits...)

There is however 1, and only 1 "Angel" email that I appreciated, I will commit copy and paste:

Ok BE HONEST..how many of you REALLY ENJOY getting little angel love notes from every person in your address book? You know the ones *I love you so here's a too cutesy angel and some mushy poem to prove it...* ~~ BLEH!! Like the cute wasn't bad enough, THEN they FORCE you by threatening bad luck if you don't send it on to others and back to them to prove you read the email! A vicious circle! Here's my version:

YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED BY THE GOOD LUCK ANGEL! HE'S GOOD LUCK BECAUSE HE PROBABLY MADE YOU SMILE. I KNOW I SMILED. WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED TRYING TO SEE UP HIS LOINCLOTH...WHY NOT SEND THIS ON TO SOME OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS TO MAKE THEM SMILE, TO! O? DON'T SEND IT BACK TO ME. I JUST GOT ALL THE DROOL OUT OF MY KEYBOARD

Quote for the day

2006-10-02T10:12:00.000+02:00

So this is what the president of the South African Reserve bank has to say:

Routine vs Chaos

2006-10-02T09:39:00.000+02:00

I always thought of myself as a bit of an impulsive person. On a hunch I will decide to go to the beach or invite a friend to go for ice cream/ to the park/ lunch at the flea market etc.

I believe that if you plan something to far in advance, you end up expecting to much and ultimately get dissapointed. I live my life by this philosophy, and one of no regrets, but that is a story for another blog.

What actually struck me as odd a while ago is the little bits of routine in my daily life. In the morning I get up, make my bed, take a shower, get dressed, have breakfast and walk to class. When I deviate from this routine I usually run late! Also I found that when I walk into the Neelsie,( the local student centre where you get food for rediculously low prices) I always take one of a few familiar routes around tha place, and always consider the same take away places for my chosen lunch.

I have come to realise that I too have my little routines, and it surprised me at first. And then it made me think. And think again. And then some more. I have come to the conclusion that I need those little bits of routine in order to get some order in my life.

Although I like impulsive decisions, I do not particularly like chaos, and if routine is what I need to prevent chaos, then I shall make peace with my routines.

I just have to add that I still cannot conform to a routine job, and if I could do anything I want, I would paint pictures all day for a day or to, then act a little bit and then write a litte bit etc.

Why on earth am I in Engineering then?

In spring and in love

2006-09-29T16:33:00.000+02:00

Spring has come into full swing. We just had a couple of lovely hot days, with sunshine and trees in fresh green leaves and everything!

I went shopping to add a bit of spring to my wardrobe, and fallen in love, to add to my spring feeling.

How can such a thing happen to me? How not? I guess sometimes you just happen to be in a place and you realise that a certain someone is more dear to you than other friends from that same group of absolutely great people. And then you realise that they feel the same way back. You know, that fluttering butterfly feeling. The one that makes you want to smile all the time, even though your test results are not what you could have wished for and there is a lot of not niceness in your life. That feeling.

That said about the feeling, I have to add that this guy is quite something. Not only does he make me smile and fit all the criteria that I had in my very long list of "he has to be"'s but he is also the greatest gentleman I have ever met. Talk about feeling like a prinses!

Along with all this, he has past the highest test that a guy could pass, i.e in the last week he has met a full 80 persent of my family, and all of them happen to like him. This is a first in history and impresses me very much.

All said, I like him very much.

This is probably a very mushy soppy blog entry, but this is how I happen to feel today, so eat that!

That ugly green monster

2006-09-19T16:45:00.000+02:00

Since I decided to write this, my life has changed somewhat, but I think it is still relevant. I spent some time thinking it over, and feel it is worth it to post it anyway.

I guess we all have some monsters in our closets. True, some people have skeletons, but all of us have monsters.

And sadly, and against my will, one of my monsters is the green monster called jealousy. I mean: Why? We do not need it, and I certainly dont like it.

I got to thinking what causes this greeny to rear his head sometimes, and I don't really like the answer. But since I started this post, I can just as well finish it.

See, the thing is, it makes me a little masculine, to say that I become jealous when my ego gets hurt. But that is just it.

When someone I used to care for, find someone else to spend his time and smiles with, then I begin to feel that maybe I just couldn't cut it. Maybe he just got tired of me, or he never really liked me, otherwise it would not have been so easy to simply move on.

When someone I love ( a friend or family member ) spend more of his/her time and energy with another friend, I immediately start wondering why they do not choose to do that with me. And I start wondering what is wrong with me.

When somebody that I am involved with in some way or another declines to do something with me, like watch a movie or go to the park, and then does it with someone else, I think that my proposition was just not colourful enough.

So my conclusion is that this shameful emotion is the product of a fragile ego and even a bit of an inferiority problem. Maybe we all just want a bit of encouragement, or maybe it is just me.

I would like to add that i have no problems what so ever about loving myself. I mistakenly think other people more important than myself, but to me I am the most lovable person I know. And I have a lovely circle of friend whom I love very much to prove it.

Crazy world

2006-09-06T16:36:00.000+02:00

Have you ever taken the time to listen to the lyrics on the songs on the radio?

I mean, after listening for your favouricte CD for the umpteenth time, we can sing along to the lyrics, so i guess we listen to that.

But something you hear on the radio/in a club. Blisfully hum along to and tap our feet to. Have you listened to what they actually tell you?

I think you can break it up into a few categories: Hate, Sex, Gangster violence, or broken hearts, and lack of sex.

I firmly believe that we are influenced by everything we see, and everything we hear. So in effect we are filling our heads with the most senseless and pointless information.

And if that is what we fill our minds with, how much of it is going to mirror in our lives?

No wonder this world is so crazy. Al the people is getting influenced by the entertainment business, and i personally think most of them need a good shrink or two.

Mindscapes?

2006-09-05T12:55:00.000+02:00

How is that for a different frame of reference?

What's your flavour?

2006-09-04T17:03:00.000+02:00

So I tried out the new icecream place in Stellenbosch over the weekend. Great stuff that. That is the kind of ice cream a person dreams about when you happen to dream about icecream.

So my question to you is:
What is your (favourite) Flavour??

Did anyone notice that i happen to LOVE icecream? ;)

Hoping for a great (hair) day

2006-09-01T11:13:00.000+02:00

This post was inspired by my favourite pair of socks.

My philosopy about socks is simple. In summer, don't wear socks, wear sandals. In winter, wear the pair of socks that lie on top of the pile. The colour doesnt really matter (I have many different coloured (not the U in that word, all you Americans) socks) because i usually wear closed shoes and long pants, so you rarely see the colour of my socks.

But the twist comes in on that one special day in my *washing week when my stripe socks are on the top of the pile. On this day, I pick out my socks first, and then the rest of the outfit. Firstly, I absolutely have to wear my baby doll shoes, so that I can see my socks, should I look down.
Then I need a colourful top to go with the socks, and pants that work with those shoes.

In other words, I let my socks determine what I wear that day. They have kind of turned into my lucky socks, so I tend to search for them in the pile when I think i need a boost.

That brings me to the topic. I am going to a function tonight, and I want to wear my hair loose. I have been blessed with some really voluminous curls, but that comes with the disacvantage that i never know wether it is going to be a good hair day, or a bad one.

Therefore, my strategy about hair for functions goes like this:
I wash my hair in the morning, and put in the gel/spray/whatever I feel might be nessasary, and then leave it to dry on its own. (I severly distrust hair dryers, especially when I need my hair to look good, and NON FUZZY.) When the time comes for me to dress up for the event, I would know already if my hair is going to work or not, so I can pin it up if it doesn't. Ingenious, isnt it?

So basically, it all comes down to me hoping that i have a great hair day. And a great day, at that.

The only problem was that this morning I could not locate my striped socks, and in anycase, i am wearing slip on shoes, that work best without socks after all, so I am just hoping now.

PS: I have not looked into a mirror since washing my hair, so right now I am hoping for the best. :)

PSS: The pictures are not my legs, or my hair, i just picked out something to illustrate. My socks do have the same colourscheme, and my hair does curl like that. Wish I had those legs though.

*the amount of time it takes for me to be out of some sort of clothing and i need to do washing. I have extended this to two weeks in summer and 10 days in winter, thus, i have a lot of clothing

Transistors and Tests

2006-08-31T18:25:00.000+02:00

I am not talking about those "rooistrikkie" tests you get at the doctors. I am talking about the ones you actually have to study for and then write 5 of them in the space of one week.

In actual fact, I think I prefer Exams, (once again not those you get at the doctor's) because at least you get a few class free days in wich to study. And the holiday after that is much longer.

About transisters, they are the threep pronged forks of the devil himself. If it wasnt for those little buggers I would have been a happier person. It sounds fun enough to design and build a remote controlled car/(tank). The design in itself is not such a big problem either. With a little research you can find a plan that might just work.

The problem comes in when you solder like a badly trained circus monkey. Then it doesnt work. Then you sleep veryl little, and 7 hours of work and some sleep deprivation later, you realise that you still have nothing that works.

And I have all 5 those tests next week. And if it wasnt for those silly transistors, i would have had more time to study! I dont like studying, but if I do it beforehand, I can take it a litte easy in the test time. I dont like stress. Deksels

Any case, I enjoyed this little rant.

It will get better, later. In the meantime, go check out that link, it is quite good to read the rant of other people, just to remember that you are not alone in your sorrows.

A New Season

2006-08-26T19:00:00.000+02:00

Today was the first hot day of the season, and what a pleasure it was.

I drove to a beach town nearby to buy a dress for a spring ball. What a successful outing! About the third one I tried on looked like it was made for me, so that was quite easy.

I took along two of my friends for moral support and a second opinion, and afterward we went to the beach and had Ice cream. Really, one just cannot go to the beach on a sunny day and not have ice cream, that would defy the rules of association.

I had a bit of an academic afternoon, but I can proudly say that it was successful and my little circuit works. Unfortunately I noticed that my little goodiebag of components went missing, probably on my late night session on Saturday. There is good in that too, though. Now I can take my Sunday off without feeling guilty, because I simply cannot work.( I may have to study a bit though, but I can handle that.)

Some other interesting news is that two of my great friends got engaged last night. I am really happy for them, and although I think I would wait 'till I am a bit older (and until i find someone to marry) I think that getting married would be perfect for them.

So all in all this was a lovely day, and I hope that I am not the only one that goes home content tonight.

Bondage

2006-08-25T09:56:00.000+02:00

So this week I ran into 3 guys, all of more or less the same age.

I guess I ran into more than 3, but the significance of these 3 was the fact that they were all wearing a ring on there wedding finger.

The one was married (I was surprised about it, but hey, she wanted him I guess) so the fact that he was wearing a ring only caught me off guard, but that is what married guys do, so I am glad about that.

What struck me as odd was the second and third. Not married, but still wearing the ring. Me being very inquisitive by nature (there is no word that completely gets NUUSKIERIG in the English language) I asked them both about the significance of the ring.

The one gave me a good honest reply: "My girlfriend gave it to me to scare away other girls."
Being a girl myself I understand this behaviour, even though I do not approve of it. My guess is that if a guy was going to look around and lust after other women, he is still going to do it, wehter he wears a ring or not. And if you really need a leash to keep your guy, maybe you do not really want him.

The third either lied to me, or he is just plain stupid. When I asked about the ring, he said it was a friendship ring . Probably from his girlfriend, because i dont think guys give each other rings, and no girl will let her boyfriend wear another's ring,. So if it is a Friendship ring, why do you have to wear it on your wedding finger, if you have 9 other insignificant fingers? It sounds lika a leash to me.

I guess I am old fashioned, but I believe in setting love free, and if it comes back, you know it is truly love. I would never leash a guy, because it would compromise my self esteem to know that I need a symbol to keep my guy. I also think it might be a bit of an insult to the guy, like saying: "I do not believe your integrity is good enough for me, so please wear my ring." But maybe I'm just naïve.

An answer

2006-08-24T16:25:00.000+02:00

I have come to a conclusion. I don't think of it as the solution, but I think it is part of the answer.

In the last few days I have been mulling the question over in my head, and this is what I came to:

I think some people act in surprising ways when indoctronation meets instinct. When a person feels that he wants to act in one way, but because of his/her ideas that has been formed by other institutions/religion/people feels that that is not really the right course of action.

Now my friend is in a position where he wants to do one thing, but feels he/she should do another, and that is where the tropical fruit hits the technology. Confusion and conflict of interest is a real bugger. :-)

What / Why ?

2006-08-17T09:57:00.000+02:00

What make an old friend act completely strange and surprise you like a spider in your coffee cup?

Is it affection or chemistry or hormones?

What is it that makes said friend act in ways you have never seen and completely piss you off without realising it?

Is it guilt or uncertainty or simply a lack of experience?

Cuteness...

2006-08-15T11:11:00.000+02:00

Shnappi became lunch !

2006-08-14T10:56:00.000+02:00

After Conquering the Demon Hangover Cold from Hell (with a little help from a very skilled fisio) I can now use all my energy to catch up on the work that kind of lagged behind during Trapkar season.

I am on schedule with all my subjects, with the exception of 1, which might be the most work to catch up on.

And I managed to lock myself out of my own flat (and i am the only person living there, mind you) for the whole of yesterday, until about 16:30, when my neigbour came back (he has a spare key, as this has happenend before.)

That forced me to enjoy the beautiful sunday afternoon, and what a day it was. The sun was shining, it was a warm day, with the promise of spring in the air. And I could enjoy it with a dear friend. What more could I ask for?
I even went swinging(the swings in the park are big enough to handle adults) and that is really good for the senses.

I would have loved to take some pictures, but unfortunately my camera was in my flat.... ;)

The Hangover Cold

2006-08-10T09:10:00.000+02:00

Trapkapkerresies (peddle cart race) went of quite well, and although I am happy about how it turned out, I am now stuck with that cold I have been suppressing for weeks to get the Trapkarresie organised.

The worst is, I dont really feel sick, I just have this heavy head that feels like I am experiencing the mother of all hangovers, but in actual fact I did not even have a drink...

What is more, for some reason I feel that I am 3 weeks behind with my studies, although I am only two weeks into the term. I guess the quicker you get behind with your work, the longer time you have to catch up.

I need to start working on my homepage, it looks really bo-ring and I need to get it figured out. Maybe next time when it is up and running, (and slightly better looking) I might considering posting a link...

Until then,
cheers vir eers...

Back to the future

2006-06-02T10:05:00.000+02:00

Who do i need to thank that I was born 30 years after this? My poor mother.

I don' t think of myself as a feminist or a womens activist, but I am studying in a predominantly male field and I expect more respect than this. I guess if that was the life I had to lead, I would have been on the wrong side of a whole lot of trouble. c",)

Pretty

2006-05-31T15:24:00.000+02:00

I have been thinking about what exactly does pretty mean?

Lets start from the beginning. I went out one evening with a friend of mine, whom you might want to call pretty. We had an interesting night and a lot of fun, and I had a lot of time to realise this: Girls usually come in sets of two, or more. There is the pretty one, that get noticed by everyone. All the girls want to be her and al the boys want to have her. Then there is her friend. The friend that knows even as heads turn to see you walking by, they are only noticing your friend. When I go out with this pretty friend of mine, I am the Friend.

I like to think of myself as a very secure individual, so this didn't bother me all that much, but it did set me thinking. I asked one of my male friends - an excellent wing man and a very honest friend, I'd trust my sister with him, if I had a sister - what is it about this friend of mine that guys find so attractive?

His answer was something like this: "Well, she is blond and skinny and she has a nice ass."
Another friend of mine once referred to her as "The one with the striking eyes and the pretty hips." and as I asked around I got a few similar responses.

I discussed this with my pretty friend and she seemed upset that everyone seems to notice her hips, her ass, her body. She recieves all this sexual attention, but does one of these guys care wether she is clever? Or nice? Or that she says the funniest things in a blink of an eye?

By the way, she is all the above and more. Where does this leave me? Is being pretty all about sexual attention? And in that case, do I really want to be percieved as pretty?

Creativity

2006-05-26T14:21:00.000+02:00

What inspires creativity? Is creativity something that we have inside ourselves that we need to delve for, like a diamond out of the bowels of the earth? We need to dig in the darkness, sort it from the gunk it is mixed with it, and then cut it until it hurts, to turn it into something precious and worth a lot? In that case, do we need to put that piece of internal carbon under immence pressure and a lot of heat to make the diamond in the first place?

Or is it some influence from outside, like a kernel of sand inside a clam, and we coat it with layer after layer of ideas to turn it into a beautiful pearl? Do we need to cry tears of discomfort to shape the ideas?

Maybe it is some form of combination, a little bit of what is inside already gets out when a portal is opened by some trigger from outside. The idea intrigues me, but cunfuses me at the same time. I think I will leave it here for now, I feel a headache coming on...

Rainy Day

2006-05-17T11:49:00.000+02:00

I woke up this morning and heard the rain on the roof. My heart leapt! I love the winter, and I love the rain.

It might be possible that my favourite part of cold weather is getting warm, but if not, why not? Aren't we all loving human beings? And nobody is a rock, never mind what Simon and Garfunkel might proclaim. I cannot name one person who will decline a cosy evening involving a movie, a duvet and possibly a cuddle.

Whereas I can name a few people that might be sceptic about a humid summers day where you try not to breath, if only because the effort will make you break out in sweat. And I happen to know quite a few that wouldn't be all to happy to prance around, scantilly dressed, on the beach. Especially in the beginning of summer when you think you might be able to handle the hear for a little while longer.

But let me not critisise summer only because I am happy with the winter today. I know that in a few weeks time I will become all upset about the fact that all my washing is either dirty or clammy, and I have to wear those strange fitting jeans I try to avoid all year and the free T-shirt I keep for the end of the washing week. But then I will return to my computer and read this post, and be happy all over again. Simply because I love winter.

Why, you may ask. Well, the story goes like this: A few years ago I was complaining about the weather to my mom, and she said not to. Because, she said, In summer it is to hot, and in winter it is to cold for you. But God made both summer and winter, and are you telling him that you are unhappy with his work?

This set me thinking that it is unfair to complain all the time, and that I should at least pick one favourite. I decided on autumn and winter (that is two, i know, but when it came to choosing, I found I love both.) I absolutely adore Autumn, it is to me the most beautiful season. All the trees get dressed up in their "rooi rokkies" (Afrikaans for red dresses) and show off for old time sake before they take on their slender winter form. Every year I am surprised by the amount of gorgously beautiful days there are in Autumn, and every year I fall in love with Autumn again.

And just when I get used to that, Winter comes along... I wont get started on duvets again, but I will say that even though the seems of my pants are clammy and I have to wear coats (I only have two, so i look kind of the same everyday and I LOVE variety), I can also put my sock collection to the test, and even if nobody sees it, it makes me feel very spiffy to wear butterfly scks, or fishy socks, or... you catch my drift.

Not to mention my polka dot gumboots, or my rather extensive scarf collection. And wearing gloves is just the greatest. And let met just mention, I found my long lost student card today, in no ohter place, than my coat pocket. c",)

So Let me go and enjoy the rest of my rainy day.

Hope yours will be just as fine....

Wasting time late at night

2006-05-10T00:51:00.000+02:00

This is an ode to the late nights when you have been postponing work for so many hours that it is already past your bed time and are now just wasting your time by talking absolute rubbish with your friends.

I have to admit, I really like the giggles and the philosophy that seems to accompany these nights. It is on a night like tonight that i come up with "would you rather" questions, and i even went to the trouble of putting it into an email and answering the questions!

Well,here goes:

Guys, this isn't forwarded stuff, this is original 'would you rather'stuff.

Would you rather.........

1. ...live in South Africa, but you can never drink coke again, or move to Holland and you can drink as much free coke as you want?

2. ...cuddle with Johnny Depp or cuddly with ... it doesn't actually matter, Johnny Depp will always win.

3. ...come from America, or come from Greece? (tricky, I know)

4. ...go on a date with Matt Damon or Jude Law? (if you're a guy that's Gwenyth Paltrow or Uma Thurman)

5. ...smoke weed every day for a month, or take LSD just once?

6. ...be locked in a room with Jacob Zuma, or Robert McGabe?

7. ...never wear jeans again but you can never have a bad hair day, or wear jeans but take your chances with the hair?

8. ...tell your parents the truth about your worst night out, or tell them you're gay?

9. ...go bald or grow a female beard (that you are not allowed to laser hair remove? (for guys, what would you rather happen to your wife)

10. ....have Camilla Parker Bowls or Margaret Thatcher as a mother-in-law?

11. ...have to speak only Italian for the rest of your life, or never ever eat cheese or any cheese related product ever again?

12. ...be incredibly happy for ten years and then bleak or just moderately happy for your entire life?

13. ...marry an Egyptian and live in Egypt, or a Saudi Arabian and live wherever you want?

14. ...be the oldest in your group of friends, or the youngest?

15. ...get hit in the face, or the stomach?

16. ...increase your IQ by five points but never beable to wear your favourite colour again or not?

17. ...get to live in South Africa but you can never leave the country, or get to travel but you can never come home again?

18. ...forget all your bad memories but you have to forget 80% of the good ones aswell, or remember it all?

19. ...have loved and lost, or never have loved at all?

20. ...have everybody love you, but you can't love or love everybody but nobody likes you?

21. ...be the village bicycle or the village fool?

22. ...be drop-dead gorgeous or a genius ?

23. ...be raised by wild wolves or marry a plumber?

24. ...act like Candice when you're drunk, or act like Paul?

25. ...have a funny laugh (but we mean laaank funny) or snore?

26. ...talk about your feeling, or feel the person you're talking to?

27. ...be blind or deaf and dumb?

28. ...take up smoking or give up coffee and caffiene completely?

29. ...be a loser or be famous but like Chuck Norris?

30. ...be doing work late at night in FIRGA or making up stoopid 'would you rather' emails?

I am not going to post the answers just yet, dont want to influence anybody.

Don't tempt fate

2006-04-25T10:08:00.000+02:00

Never, ever joke about missing your flight! It is not temting fate, it is temting the devil in a fluffy pink tutu with candy flavoured perfume on!

I once made that mistake. I was trying to organise with a proffessor to get a few classes of in order to take a longer holiday. I joked and said: "In case I happen to miss my flight, what would the consequences be?" He understood what I meant, and managed to get the classes of, and I had a really lovely extended holiday...

Until the day before my return. I looked at my flight confirmation to see what my landing time is, and to my utter shock I realised that my ticket was book for the wrong way around. Instead of flying from my hometown to my study town, it was booked to fly back to my hometown!

A few phonecalls and a lot of stress later, i managed to find out that all the flights for the day I was supposed to return was completely full. My only hope was to buy another ticket (at a higher price than the first) and be on standby.
I was lucky enough to get a seat on the first flight for the day, but believe me, I was stressed beyond my capasity for tension handling.

It is then that I learned my lesson not to take my chances with fate...

You are what you believe

2006-04-16T18:58:00.000+02:00

Everyday, our thoughts are influenced by what we experience: by everything we see and everything we hear.

Our moods can change because of the music we listen to, or because of the things we see on TV. Every conversation has an effect on how we percieve things, wether to change our perspective, or to reinforce the opinion we already have.

In a sense, our thoughts also govern what we believe. Spiritually as well as otherwise. If you believe that you have consentration problems, you are going to have a hard time studying. If you believe that you get lost in a crowd, maybe you will be practically invisible.

If you believe bad things always happen to you, then you will not notice the nice things that happen to you, and you will be slumped in negativity.

This brings me to the point that you are what you believe. I am not a paranoid person. Sometimes I am so "loskop" that I forget to lock my car when I go to the mall, (not a good idea in Sunny South Africa) but for some reason nothing bad has ever come to that.

Does this make any sense?

Thank you to my friendly friends

2006-04-15T00:01:00.000+02:00

This is a personal note, so I will write it in Afrikaans:

Aan al my vriende, baie dankie. Dit is vir my die greatste ding om te weet dat as ek vandag van die aarde af sou verdwyn, gaan daar darem iemand wees wat dit agterkom.
Party van julle dalk meer as ander, maar dis nou maar jou eie saak.

Die wonderlike ding van my vriende is dat daar allerhande soorte mense is. Ek kan nooit verveeld raak met die mense nie, want die verskeidenheid is net wonderbaarlik. Dit strek vanaf vriendinne wat die naam en nommer van elke revlon lipstick op die mark ken (as a manner of speaking) tot vriende wat so intellectual kan raak dat my mond droog raak van oophang. Van mense wat opperste geeks is en nie 'n metafoor kan sien as hy vir jou gesigte trek nie, tot mense wat so filosofies kan raak dat ek moet gorrel om by te bly.

Die ding is, by elkeen van julle leer ek iets nuuts. Van die wereld, kuns, van wetenskap, mense en van myself. Van my gelukkigste herinneringe is waar ek saam met my vriende op die strand stap, ek vir Candice iets kan leer (om klippies op die see te maak bons) en ons dmv Assosiasie besluit om roomyse(met hartjies op vir die meisies, en sulke icky bubblegum stuffs) te koop op Bloubergstrand.
Of om Saam met Erika(Anya) en haar sussie poging tot windsurfing aan te wend - In gietende reen, met 'n donderstorm oor die see. Ons het dit nie een regtig reg gekry nie, maar ek is huistoe met 'n 10 cm bloukol op my regterknie(seerkry is nie cool as jy nie scars het om daarvoor te wys nie) en herinneringe wat my vir lank sal bybly.
Dan praat ek nie eers van die koortoer toe ek op skool was en ons fotos geneem het saam met Chinese vloot mannetjies in Die waterfront nie. Of die keer wat ek saam met Nadia en Carla "i have never.." gespeel het met Peperment Liquer en Bols Blue.
Dan praat ek nog nie eers van die glorius op-my-gat-val insident voor die Neelsie terwyl ons ge- Hat-Shoe het nie, of Skinnydip een aand laat by die Strand of roomys eet by die Hangbrug (lyk my roomys en die see feature meer as wat ek gedink het.. it's a SIGN!)
Nuwer herinneringe sluit in die keer toe ek en Pierre Rudolph se soundcard geblaas het en die naweek met die tee en koekies.
En die alewige gewag vir Christian se "10 minutes." Candice se Afrikaans wat vloei in proporsie met die hoeveelheid wyn wat sy in het. OF karel se Abnormally long.....................

............................................................Arm hair.
En Turner Brown en sy 17 inch penis. Of die Namibian in Stellenboshc - Sting remake.

Ek het seker nou heelwat uitgelaat, maar ek dink elkeen van julle weet dat julle vir my iets spesiaals beteken. Hierdie is net die gedagtes wat opkom, en dit sal boring raak as ek nou alles moet herhaal.

Hoe dit ook al sy, laat ek nou terugkeer na die Taal van die Antichris(no offence to any of my English Speaking friends, I know you know what I mean), en die blog-storie voortsit.

All in all, my life was blessed by remarkable and absolutely fantastic friends. There might be the bastards among my friends, but I will keep them away from my nicer friends and not allow them to spoil your day. I will do anything that I can. If neccesary I will even tell my brother to get you, and then you'll be sorry :)

I love you all and I believe that our friends today shape who we become tomorrow, and if that is anything to go by, then I know: Tomorrow I will be happy.

PS: Darn this English Language, i just can't seem to type a capital i!!!

Thank you to my Bastard friends

2006-04-12T14:33:00.000+02:00

I believe that everyone, and every girl especially, should have a bastard as a friend.
This might sound a little crazy, and even selfdestructive, but first hear me out. I have this philosophy that I will be friends with anybody, as long as they respect me for who I am. The direct effect of this, is that at any given time since I adopted this philosophy, I have had at least one friend that can be described as destructive, negative, called a few other nasty things, but i will suffice with the term: Bastard.

These friends were mostly guys, and although I had to keep my wits about me at times in order to keep my sanity, I have learned a few valuable lessons from these friends.
Firstly, the tend to be of the 'charming' persuation, i.e they will try to charm the feet of anything that wears a skirt (in the case of my he-friends.) In some cases this even goes to the extent of 'hunting' where the male turns on the charm until the subject falls for them, and after that they get bored with her.
This trend of charming and hunting alerted me to the fact that not all guys fall into the prince-on-a-white-horse class. Some guys are just out for the fun, and they know it.
Secondly, I have found that these friends of mine are very honest, even if sometimes brutally so.
If you are not considered fair game(be it because you have been hunted already, or wether there is just no interest) you might be lucky enough to be considered a Friend.
As a Friend, they take a break from their Charming for a while, and for the first time you find out what they really think, about you and everybody else. They are not out to impress you, so there is no hiding behind barriers of being nice to fat girls or calling a slut an 'interesting individual.'
Just a warning: If you do happen to get on their bad side, they will inform you what they think of you, with emphasis on the things they know will hurt, so you might need nerves of steel for that.

The last thing I find interesting about my Bastard friends it that when there is something that eats you, they tend to be the ones that gives you a reality check and pulls you back from that sticky tar of self pity that we girls tend to get ourselfs into.

With that said, I just want to add:
Thank you to my Bastard friend, that taught me that I need to love myself, because sometimes there is nobody else to do it for me.

Daydreams...

2006-04-11T12:43:00.000+02:00

I am a dreamer, and I know it. Whenever i am left to my own devices for long enough, my thoughts get garried away on the wings of the most spectacular daydream.
Sometimes in my dreams I am a nobel prize winner - for what, I am not quite sure. Sometimes I am the queen of a dynasty - powerful and bejeweled.
Other times i am a filmstar of the ranks of Marilyn Monroe. Or a musician... a famous musician that is known all over for my unique and beautiful voice.
At times my dreams are really girly:
I am in the arms some tall, dark and handsome man, who happens to be really wealthy. Sometimes i dream that men will fight each other for my favour, but then I just send them off with a piece of my mind, aong the lines of: "Firstly, i don't like fighting, and Secondly, Neither of you are good enough for me."
Sometimes my dreams need an age restriction, but lets not go there...
But the wonderful thing about daydreams is the fact that they usually dont come true.

Walking in the garden

2006-04-11T08:57:00.000+02:00

Thoughts. Philosophies. Stories.

Roses are soft and fragile, but they also sport thorns.